Potty Training Advice
Learning to use the toilet is an important milestone in early childhood development, and it can be a challenging season for both families and teachers. Many parents naturally look to educators for guidance during this stage, and children benefit most when the adults in their lives share a common understanding of healthy, developmentally appropriate toilet-training practices.
Both parents and teachers are often eager for children to move out of diapers, and most rely on a developmental approach that looks for signs of readiness rather than a fixed age. At times, however, parents and teachers may not be aligned. Some families hope to begin toilet training very early, while teachers may observe that a child is not yet ready. In other cases, teachers may feel a child is prepared while parents prefer to wait. When approaches between home and school differ, children’s progress is often slower and more frustrating for everyone involved.
For this reason, toilet training works best when parents and teachers approach it as a team. Children thrive when the adults supporting them agree on readiness, strategies, and expectations. Open communication and shared goals help create consistency, which is especially important during this sensitive stage of development.
Understanding physical development is a key part of knowing when to begin. Research shows that bladder control develops gradually and involves several steps: filling the bladder, recognizing the urge to go, postponing urination, and then refilling. Children must master each part of this process, and this takes time. While timelines vary widely, general patterns include:
15 months: children may notice wet clothing and request to be changed
Between 18 and 24 months, children often develop words related to urine and bowel movements.
Between 2½ and 3 years, many children can announce the need to urinate in time to reach the toilet.
After age 3, children may be able to delay urination briefly.
There is often nearly a two-year gap between when children first notice they are wet and when they can reliably wait to use the toilet. Adults sometimes expect children to function at an adult level far earlier than development allows. Teachers can support families by sharing realistic expectations and signs of readiness, such as:
Noticing and communicating when clothes are wet or soiled
Staying dry for longer stretches of time or overnight
Having words related to toileting
Sitting and standing independently
Pulling pants up and down with minimal assistance
Physical readiness alone is not enough. Children also need the ability to understand simple instructions and a willingness to cooperate. Periods of strong independence or frequent resistance may signal that it is best to pause and try again later. Children often become interested in toilet use naturally as they observe siblings, peers, or adults.
Parents and teachers should also discuss practical strategies, including how praise or rewards are used, how and when to transition from diapers to underwear, whether to use pull-ups, and how adults will respond to resistance or accidents.
Most experts recommend offering frequent, brief opportunities to use the toilet. Children can be encouraged to sit on the potty after naps and about 45 minutes after meals or snacks. If a child refuses, they should not be forced. Pressure or coercion often leads to increased resistance. Gentle encouragement, access to books while sitting, and allowing the child to decide when to get up can be more effective.
Accidents are a normal part of the learning process, even for older preschoolers. Calm, reassuring responses are essential. Statements such as, “That’s okay. Accidents happen. You’re learning, and next time will be better,” help children feel safe and motivated to keep trying. Teachers can model this supportive tone for families.
It is also important for parents to understand that physical punishment, including spanking, does not help children learn toileting skills more quickly. In fact, it often slows progress by creating fear or anxiety around using the toilet.
Schools and teachers can be valuable partners for families during toilet training. Through consistent practices, positive modeling, and open communication, parents and educators can support children effectively. Teachers may also recommend age-appropriate books or resources that help both children and adults navigate this developmental stage with confidence and patience.